Thoughts of Myself

 

Broken fragments
Bits and pieces
Shattered dreams
Of hopes now lost
Break the mirror
Can't look in it
Cannot stand
The me i see
Each small fragment
Reflects my darkness
Brings to light
My ugliness
Turn my head
In shame and anger
Self-disgust
Is all i know
Please come closer
Love me always
Accept me as
This me i am
Nothing special
Just a shadow
That hides within
This darkened mind
Love is something
i don't deserve
All i know
Are taunts and slaps
Reaching out
For love's bright sunshine
Drawing back
It can't be mine
i am worthless
Not even human
Just a "living"
Punching bag
My sole purpose
Has been to linger
Letting others
Vent their anger
Sick and twisted
Is what they call me
The family that
i held so dear
So i shove away
And retreat further
Away from the whispers
Away from the stares
Ne'er do good,
Whore and tramp
Strange and worthless
Are how i am labeled
Weak and small,
Insignificant and stupid
Are how i feel
So deep inside me
Shattered mirror
Broken fragments
Pieces of this lonely soul
Reaching out
And finding nothing
Wondering if
That's how i'll end

1998