Thoughts in Public

skin crawling
jittery
jumpy
tug on hair
shake
rock on heels
redness creeping
staining my face
fearful glances
furtive looks
pounding heart
sweating palms
looking nowhere
looking everywhere
jaw clenched
body tensed
pleading eyes
don't let it happen again
people everywhere
are you the one
fear of violation
lost in a storm
pelted with fear
terror flashes
pain crashes
in waves through me
looking desperately
for my safe spot
away from
the people
the fear
the agony
isolated
blessed solace
no one to hurt
no one to violate
no one to lie
no one to poison
with false sweetness
lonely as hell
wanting love
afraid
are you the one
is there anyone

12-8-99